To Whom it May Concern;
To be independent, you kind of need to think of and for yourself. No more of this crap about the feelings of other people or what is most convenient for them. You need to claw and scrape your path and not wander down anybody else simply because they beckoned you with their presence.
There is only a little truth in that. You must find a balance to be compassionate and to have your best interests as your number one priority. There are all these sayings about how one needs to look outward instead of inward. Selfishness is a negative thing, but being bold and standing up for your ideals is definitely a positive thing.
Think about what you want and if it doesn't conflict too much with the well-being of other people... then go for it. You need to take care of yourself first so that you can take care of others.
This includes everything. From feeling good about yourself from brushing your teeth to spending a weekend working so that you have a little more cash to buffer that place between debt and wealth.
You're an adult, take care of yourself.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
H is for House
To Whom it May Concern;
As I have been the resident "property manager" for my parent's house, it is needless to say that keeping everything in working/proper order is basically up to me. So when the power went out due to fierce winds or some other such nonsense I had a tiny panic attack.
I am not prepared.
I can't even deal with a broken washer and now I'm thinking of all the other things that could go wrong. A gas leak, a tree falling on the house, a fire, an earthquake, a flood, a plague of locusts, world war III...
Anyways, I have these responsibilities to take care of and act for the house and obviously I am not prepared to do them.
Is there something that you are obligated to do and have not yet got around to doing it?
Make a list and carry out each thing. I can't search the number for the power company if the power is out. Write that number down along with all the other utility numbers. Make a 72 hour kit. Learn about the kind of insurance that you have and the kind of insurance the property has.
Knowing what to do and having the information to do it is part of being a responsible adult.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
As I have been the resident "property manager" for my parent's house, it is needless to say that keeping everything in working/proper order is basically up to me. So when the power went out due to fierce winds or some other such nonsense I had a tiny panic attack.
I am not prepared.
I can't even deal with a broken washer and now I'm thinking of all the other things that could go wrong. A gas leak, a tree falling on the house, a fire, an earthquake, a flood, a plague of locusts, world war III...
Anyways, I have these responsibilities to take care of and act for the house and obviously I am not prepared to do them.
Is there something that you are obligated to do and have not yet got around to doing it?
Make a list and carry out each thing. I can't search the number for the power company if the power is out. Write that number down along with all the other utility numbers. Make a 72 hour kit. Learn about the kind of insurance that you have and the kind of insurance the property has.
Knowing what to do and having the information to do it is part of being a responsible adult.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
Monday, April 8, 2013
Geeze
To Whom it May Concern;
My sister and her friends just had a little party at my house. I do not know how I feel about this since I felt somewhat out of place. The issue with the cat has been lengthened... but only till I find that third roommate.
The washing machine does not need to be fixed... yet. My roommate will be bringing her own one, so that is lucky for me. A little too lucky. This world seems to be growing soft on me again. Where is the hardship of forging my way into the world?
I can not grow without a challenge. I need to be moved to such a stressful state of pain and fear and overwhelmingness in order to become tough... maybe somewhere along the way I did grow tough, but not enough.
If you are going through a relatively quiet time with small or few struggles then I urge you to take this time and do all that crap that you put off because you were too swamped with feels. Keep challenging yourself, that continuous progression is what makes you wiser and stronger.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
My sister and her friends just had a little party at my house. I do not know how I feel about this since I felt somewhat out of place. The issue with the cat has been lengthened... but only till I find that third roommate.
The washing machine does not need to be fixed... yet. My roommate will be bringing her own one, so that is lucky for me. A little too lucky. This world seems to be growing soft on me again. Where is the hardship of forging my way into the world?
I can not grow without a challenge. I need to be moved to such a stressful state of pain and fear and overwhelmingness in order to become tough... maybe somewhere along the way I did grow tough, but not enough.
If you are going through a relatively quiet time with small or few struggles then I urge you to take this time and do all that crap that you put off because you were too swamped with feels. Keep challenging yourself, that continuous progression is what makes you wiser and stronger.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Freedom
To Whom it May Concern;
I feel compelled to tell you about one of the most awesome feelings in the world. Freedom. In the United States I know we take it way too much for granted, which is why I was so deeply impacted by it.
You see, when I lived under the roof/authority of my parents this included submitting to my mother's hoarding... erm... tendencies. Anything I put in the garbage was scrutinized and 80% of the time I would probably find it years later in one of the layers of my parent's bedroom... because of this invasion of my garbage-privacy and the fact that when you are a teenager basically everything of yours is embarrassing, I started being very finnicky about what I could throw away. If I put something of ANY worth (I'm talking used christmas bows and homework from all grades) then my mother would probably make her "values" known to me. Basically, she would criticize me for throwing basically anything away (and then save it despite MY decision and arguing to get rid of it).
And then I moved away. When I finally threw out an old pair of underwear... just tossed it in the garbage... I was blown away by a feeling of absolute freedom. This was normal. You get rid of old things when they are of no use. This is what I believed in. This is what I was allowed to act upon.
Do not let the values of your parents get in the way of what you believe in. There are some moral ideas that are instilled in your makeup and those make you a good person, but in the ways of material possessions and anything involving OCD, do things in the way that you think is normal. It will give you peace of mind and a taste of what real freedom is about - making your own choices.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
I feel compelled to tell you about one of the most awesome feelings in the world. Freedom. In the United States I know we take it way too much for granted, which is why I was so deeply impacted by it.
You see, when I lived under the roof/authority of my parents this included submitting to my mother's hoarding... erm... tendencies. Anything I put in the garbage was scrutinized and 80% of the time I would probably find it years later in one of the layers of my parent's bedroom... because of this invasion of my garbage-privacy and the fact that when you are a teenager basically everything of yours is embarrassing, I started being very finnicky about what I could throw away. If I put something of ANY worth (I'm talking used christmas bows and homework from all grades) then my mother would probably make her "values" known to me. Basically, she would criticize me for throwing basically anything away (and then save it despite MY decision and arguing to get rid of it).
And then I moved away. When I finally threw out an old pair of underwear... just tossed it in the garbage... I was blown away by a feeling of absolute freedom. This was normal. You get rid of old things when they are of no use. This is what I believed in. This is what I was allowed to act upon.
Do not let the values of your parents get in the way of what you believe in. There are some moral ideas that are instilled in your makeup and those make you a good person, but in the ways of material possessions and anything involving OCD, do things in the way that you think is normal. It will give you peace of mind and a taste of what real freedom is about - making your own choices.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
Friday, April 5, 2013
Elegance is Overrated
To Whom it May Concern;
One of the more difficult and unspoken things about being the youngest and or trying to find your way in life as a responsible and independent adult is a little obstacle called "perfection". You say to yourself that you are going to pay all the bills in a timely manner. You're going to get the perfect job that pays enough money to never have to worry about expenses. You're going to have a car that never breaks. You're going to magically turn into this considerate, charitable and elegant human being.
No. Not gonna happen.
There are pitfalls for everyone in this world. We can forget things, be anxious about things, scared to do things. We are only human. And no matter what image of idealism you have in your head, you are never going to fit it perfectly. The best thing for you to do is shape your idealism around your own personality and keep it as realistic as possible. You know the achievable things that you can change about yourself, you also know the things that you never want to give up. Wearing sweatpants in the middle of the day for a week straight... annoying the heck out of your roommates because you love singing... being incredibly weird...
You need to Embrace you for who you are, improve on the things that you can and accept everything that comes your way. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
One of the more difficult and unspoken things about being the youngest and or trying to find your way in life as a responsible and independent adult is a little obstacle called "perfection". You say to yourself that you are going to pay all the bills in a timely manner. You're going to get the perfect job that pays enough money to never have to worry about expenses. You're going to have a car that never breaks. You're going to magically turn into this considerate, charitable and elegant human being.
No. Not gonna happen.
There are pitfalls for everyone in this world. We can forget things, be anxious about things, scared to do things. We are only human. And no matter what image of idealism you have in your head, you are never going to fit it perfectly. The best thing for you to do is shape your idealism around your own personality and keep it as realistic as possible. You know the achievable things that you can change about yourself, you also know the things that you never want to give up. Wearing sweatpants in the middle of the day for a week straight... annoying the heck out of your roommates because you love singing... being incredibly weird...
You need to Embrace you for who you are, improve on the things that you can and accept everything that comes your way. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Daring Darling
To Whom it May Concern;
When you live on your own without your parents or older siblings to magically solve your problems... you have to be daring.
Do your fears stop you from living? If they do then they are a problem and you should talk to someone. For those of us who know what bravery and courage means... a moment of fear or gruesomeness will be just that. A moment. Close your eyes, pick up that mouse (no, not the computer one, the dead one underneath your pillow...) and just get it over with. The more you think about it, the more time you spend delaying will be more time in fear and anxiety. I am sure there is something that you have been putting off. Just do it. You are capable of finding a solution and maybe part of that solution is asking someone else. This is what being an adult is all about.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
When you live on your own without your parents or older siblings to magically solve your problems... you have to be daring.
- When your only washing machine breaks... dare yourself find a way to fix it.
- When the dishes pile up... dare yourself to wash them.
- When you wake up and you find out you have been sleeping on top of a freshly dead mouse all night... dare yourself to try not to throw up, toss it outside, scourge yourself in the shower and wash your sheets...
- And if you can't fix your washing machine... well then... good luck.
Do your fears stop you from living? If they do then they are a problem and you should talk to someone. For those of us who know what bravery and courage means... a moment of fear or gruesomeness will be just that. A moment. Close your eyes, pick up that mouse (no, not the computer one, the dead one underneath your pillow...) and just get it over with. The more you think about it, the more time you spend delaying will be more time in fear and anxiety. I am sure there is something that you have been putting off. Just do it. You are capable of finding a solution and maybe part of that solution is asking someone else. This is what being an adult is all about.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Cats of the Family
To Whom it May Concern;
Because the life of the youngest sibling is quite stable, at least in my case, it would seem that the care taking of animals in need would be my responsibility. I do love cats, but what of this responsibility? In my attempts to rent out one of the rooms in my house, it would appear as though I have rented out an entire room to my sister's cat.
Let's forget the one I was already pet sitting and deal with this other one for a minute. (Yes there are two). It seems that despite how immature and irresponsible the youngest of the family can be, the older siblings can still do silly things. My sister picked up a cat on a whim... ON A WHIM! and then brought it back to her apartment where it was soon thereafter kicked out by the landlord by threat of eviction.
I am sure you all have dealt with a situation where someone imposed on you... where you suddenly had responsibilities that aren't really your responsibilities. Do not let people walk all over you. Give them a deadline and rules and just like that landlord, ACT. Nothing is going to get done otherwise. Sure a cat is great and all, but I'm sure there is another family that would love to have it too.
I have left a cat behind before. Going and living on your own... you can barely remember to feed yourself let alone another creature. One week... one week and then it is gone.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
Because the life of the youngest sibling is quite stable, at least in my case, it would seem that the care taking of animals in need would be my responsibility. I do love cats, but what of this responsibility? In my attempts to rent out one of the rooms in my house, it would appear as though I have rented out an entire room to my sister's cat.
Let's forget the one I was already pet sitting and deal with this other one for a minute. (Yes there are two). It seems that despite how immature and irresponsible the youngest of the family can be, the older siblings can still do silly things. My sister picked up a cat on a whim... ON A WHIM! and then brought it back to her apartment where it was soon thereafter kicked out by the landlord by threat of eviction.
I am sure you all have dealt with a situation where someone imposed on you... where you suddenly had responsibilities that aren't really your responsibilities. Do not let people walk all over you. Give them a deadline and rules and just like that landlord, ACT. Nothing is going to get done otherwise. Sure a cat is great and all, but I'm sure there is another family that would love to have it too.
I have left a cat behind before. Going and living on your own... you can barely remember to feed yourself let alone another creature. One week... one week and then it is gone.
Sincerely,
Independent Month
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